Slaughter On I-95

Anyone who has ever been to a sporting event in the squalor that is "Dolphin Stadium" knows the joys of exiting I-95 into the spacious confines of the stadium parking lot. The place is barely in Dade County—just over the border with the slightly less violent Broward County. Well, enough Florida-bashing.

But wait, going to a Marlins game is the most ludicrous of all—since you can make casual conversation with the other fan in your section without disturbing the ballplayers.

In any event, the Patriots traveled to the "Land of Aqua And Orange" and absolutely eviscerated the lowly fish (were you really surprised?) in a 49-28 rout that was over before half-time.

Tom Brady pitched 6 TD passes (a career best), bringing his season total to 27. Two of these were absolute schoolyard "jump balls" to Randy Moss, who might as well be quardruple-covered for all that it matters.

Bob Ryan, we told you this was tedious. Not that the team is boring, but the competition makes the games boring. Don't you think? So, now they're 7-0. Bring on Indy. Please!

Best Pats-Related Quote Of The Week

From the kinetic keyboard of Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News: "Just so we don't have to go over this every Sunday the rest of the pro football season: Randy Moss is open."

Cast Your Pro Bowl Vote!

It's that time again! Time to cast your Pro Bowl votes for deserving players throughout the league (and a few choice Pats, of course).

Go here to cast your vote.

Get Andre To Canton

It's just the right thing to do. Go here to sign a petition to get Andre Tippett into the Hall Of Fame. Here are some facts and figures from the website, andre4hof.com :

Andre Tippett, has had seven plus years of eligibility for the NFL Hall of Fame. The 11 year veteran linebacker deserves better. Black Belt Martial Artist Andre Tippett was feared by many NFL quarterbacks and running backs in his career. Electors please consider the following before voting:

* 100 career sacks 21st on the all time list.
* Five consecutive Pro Bowls.
* 1985 AFC Defensive Player of the Year.
* Three Linebacker of Year awards voted on by the NFL Players and Alumni.
* An entire career with one franchise a rarity in The Era of Free Agency.
* One AFC Championship.
* Part of effort to win three straight road playoff games in 1985-6.
* 18.5 sacks in 1985.

Dallas—North Of Forty

So much for parity between "elite" teams in the NFC and the only really good teams (two in the AFC). The Patriots served notice on the best team in the NFC by punishing them on their own turf in a 48-27 Texas trouncing.

Tom Brady passed for a career-high 5 TDs, and despite actually trailing in the second half, the Pats turned on the after-burners to lay waste to the 'Boys in the 4th Quarter. Wes Welker caught an astounding 11 passes, Stallworth 7 and Moss 6 in an offensive onslaught that saw the Pats score the most points in 23 years. Sorry, Bob Ryan. Yawn.

Troy Brown Celebrity Bingo

Information about an upcoming event by Troy Brown—the quintessential Patriot:

Tickets are currently on sale for Troy Brown Celebrity Bingo being held at Gillette Stadium on October 29, 2007 beginning at 6:30pm. Join Troy Brown, Wes Welker, Kevin Faulk, Benjamin Watson, and more of his Patriots teammates and Boston athletes for a night of bingo, auctions, food and fun to benefit Celebrities for Charity Foundation and the Inner City Scholarship Fund. Celebrities for Charity Foundation was granted a one day bingo license allowing Troy Brown Celebrity Bingo to give away $10,000 in prize money.

“We are very excited to be having Bingo again this year,” says Brown. “We are appreciative to the Treasurer for giving us this great opportunity for the third time and I am really looking forward to raising money for two worthy causes. It is sure to be an evening to remember.”

Celebrities for Charity Foundation was set up to provide many local charities a way to have celebrities involved in their fundraising efforts. The foundation does this by providing celebrity visits to charitable events and by providing autographed memorabilia for charities to use as a fundraising tool. We ask different local celebrities to autograph the memorabilia and then distribute it to charities all over New England. Charities that are requesting donations must go though an application process and provide us with their mission and goals. This year Celebrities for Charity proudly reached the $1,000,000.00 donation mark and we look forward to growing this number.

The Inner City Scholarship Fund was started in 1991 and exists through the Catholic Schools Foundation, Inc. The Inner City Scholarship Fund grants inner-city students the financial support to attend primary or secondary parochial schools in the Archdiocese of Boston. Scholarship assistance is given out annually and awarded to students no matter his/her race, color, gender or creed and has helped over 61,000 students and given over $52 million in scholarship money.

Troy Brown will be joined by many of his New England Patriots teammates and many other local celebrities for 9 games of Bingo with the chance to win up to $10,000 in prize money. For more information or to purchase tickets, please visit www.troybrownbingo.com or call (978) 749-6700

You Call That A "Victory"?

It is symptomatic of the essentially spoiled nature of Pats fans that we are upset with the 34-17 win over the hapless Browns at Foxboro. Why? Well, for one thing, there were too many darn punts! And, as a direct relation to that, way too many "three and outs". There were also way too many times when I said to myself, "Hey, these bozos are within only three scores!". That's spoiled. Rotten.

Anyway, the Pats moved on to a 5-0 record with the win.

Brady passed for three more touchdowns (two to Benjamin Watson) and Junior Seau intercepted two passes as the Pats, basically, rolled over the Team From The Mistake By The Lake. I know the great Bob Ryan has castigated those of us who dare to state that this team is almost (and I stress almost) boring to watch—but, come on, aren't they?

Maybe this unsatisfying win against a poor Browns team will force Coach B to get them a little more prepared for the decidedly not boring match-up next Sunday against the 'Boys. But, I still think we'll win—and easily.

Bengal Lancers

I have to say, the relative angst of running a Pats site versus a Red Sox site is not even in the same galaxy. The Red Sox are a 162-day study in theatrical agony; the Pats are (at least so far this year) bordering on being so good they're boring. There's not much more to say about this team—aside from wallowing in VideoGate—which I refuse to do.

OK, I'll try to act like this is interesting. The New England Patriots embarrassed yet another poser of an "opponent" this week by eviscerating the Cincinnati Bengals, 34-13. Brady passed for three more TDs (two more to Randy Moss) and Sammy Morris ran all over northern Kentucky to turn in one of the best games of his career. The Pats are now 4-0. They have no films now. They're doing this the same way they won 3 Super Bowls. It's called talent and great coaching. 'Nuf Ced.

Look Out For That Ambulance!

Two New York Jets season ticket-holders have filed a "class-action" suit in U.S. District Court in Newark against Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots. The suit charges that the fans were "defrauded" by the Pats over the VideoGate flap because "New York Jets ticket-holders...fully anticipated and contracted for a ticket to observe an honest match played in compliance with all laws and regulations." Uh-huh. Oh, and they're looking for $184 million. That sounds reasonable, don't you think?

You know, I have to admit, we don't have quite enough of a litigious society--we need more frivolous actions like this. Not. Could this whole joke be any more typically New York, or what?